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Sloan Column: Beer naming can be a craft in itself

on Monday, 19 April 2021. Posted in Columns, Opinions

Sloan Column: Beer naming can be a craft in itself

If you’re a big fan of craft beers and have a crafty imagination to boot, then Seminar Brewery and Wholly Smokin’ Downtown have a contest that you might want to get in on. 

Wanting to create a new beer for its ever-changing menu, Wholly Smokin’ has teamed up with the brew masters at Seminar. The new brew is being made specifically for Wholly Smokin’. All they will say is that it will be a pale ale rye. 

To come up with a name for the new frosty malt, the two establishments decided to let the public make the call. An April13 post on the Wholly Smokin’ Facebook page stated: “We are collaborating with Seminar Brewing on an amazing beer for our restaurant. We need your help! Please chime in and give your thoughts on what the beer should be called. The top four names will be put to a vote.” 

Sounds like fun. There’s no mention of a prize for the person submitting the winning entry, but I’ll bet it will be wet and tasty. 

Coming up with a creative name is part of the crafting process. A unique name serves as an attention grabber and many, and I will attest from personal experience, will try a new beer simply because of the name. Wholly Smokin’ already has numerous craft beers on its menu with creative names. Among them are Toad Prince, Dirty Myrtle, Emergency Drinkin’, Torch, and Sweet Caroline. Seminar’s offerings include Pixels, Cashmere SMaSH, Field Work, Pulpy Love, Vanilla the Hun, Tug O’ Nut, and Tanlines. 

To get those creative juices flowing, so to speak, here’s a list of 20 creative, clever and funny craft beer names from www.thehalfwall.com: 

• Smooth Hoperator (Stoudts Brewing Company). Because who doesn’t love a classic play on hops? 

• For Richer Or Porter (Tibbs Brewing Co.). 

I propose a toast to this deliciously clever, richly flavored porter. 

• Blithering Idiot (Weyerbacher Brewing Co.). At 11.1% ABV, this ale has a name that foreshadows what you’ll turn into if you drink too many. 

• Polygamy Porter (Wasatch Brewery). This Utah-brewed porter probably has the best tagline in the business: “Why just have one?” 

• Imperial Stout Trooper (New England Brewing Co.). Join the dark side when you sip on this black, chocolatey stout. 

• He’Brew (Schmaltz Brewing Co.). “The chosen beer.” 

• Peter Piper Peppered Pale (Rockford Brewing Co.). Brewed with Serrano, Jalapeno, Banana and Hungarian Wax, you really have to say it fast and drink it slow. 

• Hoppy Ending Pale Ale (Palo Alto Brewing Company). A great way to end the night, that’s for sure. 

• I’ll Have What The Gentleman On The Floor Is Having (McGuire’s Irish Pub And Brewery). Even though this barley wine is no longer on the menu at McGuire’s, you really can’t help but chuckle at that name. 

• Hoptimus Prime (Ruckus Brewing Company). “Autobots, roll out…to grab a beer.” I’m pretty sure that’s actually what Optimus Prime said. 

• Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ (Lagunitas Brewing Co.). Just a little sumpin’ to wet your whistle. 

• Moose Drool (Big Sky Brewing Co.). Mmm…nothing like throwing back a cold pint of Moose Drool. 

• Pathological Lager (Dock Street Brewing Co.). Funny enough, Pathological Lager isn’t a lager at all, it’s actually an ale. Pretty clever, right? 

• My Wife’s Bitter (Burleigh Brewing Co.). Probably because you’re always out drinking beers at the bar. 

• Brew Free Or Die IPA (21st Amendment Brewery). Because… ‘Merica. 

• Palate Wrecker (Green Flash Brewing). Prepare to have your palate wrecked from this Imperial IPA’s onslaught of hops and bitterness. 

• Sexual Chocolate (Foothills Brewing). This silky cocoa infused Imperial Stout is unique, coveted and super sensual. 

• Haulin’ Oats Stout (O’Connor Brewing Co.). 

This oatmeal stout, an ode to the musical duo Hall & Oates, is rich, creamy and will make your dreams come true. 

• Parking Violation (Russian River Brewing Co.). No one likes getting a parking violation, but everyone loves this classic American style Pale Ale. 

• Son of A Peach (RJ Rockers Brewing Company). A summer ale perfect for sippin’ on the front porch. 

Pretty creative, huh? 

And since we’re on the subject, Hartsville’s long wait ended last week when Wild Heart Brewery opened its doors. Located on Railroad Ave. in the former Gardner’s Feed and Seed, Wild Heart’s numerous on tap offerings include Haint Blue, Southern Weather, Witches’ Tree, Namesake, and Bow Tie. 

The latter is a brown ale named in honor of a much-loved community member known for wearing a bow tie. Wild Hart’s web page offers a blog that shares the inspiration behind the naming of some of its craft beers. 

Wild Heart is definitely worth checking out. 

As for the beer-naming contest, there were just under three dozen entries as of last Friday, so grab a cold one and put on your drinking, err, thinking cap. 

Contact Editor Bob Sloan at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

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